It’s been more than a week now since President Trump pulled the US troops out of Syria, so I was wondering if all the Kurds are dead yet? I have heard from many – many – foreign policy experts that if not for American troops being plopped down between the Kurds, the Turks, the Syrians, the Russians and the Iranians, all the Kurds would die in a genocidal bloodbath.
In fact, this was a such a foregone conclusion by every foreign policy official in Washington, DC that there’s really no other possible outcome. Our heroic Kurdish allies will all die – and it will all be Donald Trump’s fault because of his cowardly abandonment of our dear friends, the Kurds.
It’s kind of weird how the news media pivoted suddenly from the 24/7 coverage of the Kurds’ impending doom to some other crisis, isn’t it? A skeptical person might think something fishy is going on!
What’s really going on in Syria? As usual, we have to read foreign newspapers to find out.
Turkish President Recep Erdogan traveled to Russia for a meeting with President Vladimir Putin. Syrian leader Bashar Al Assad couldn’t attend for obvious reasons, but he’s talked enough with Putin on the phone that the Russian leader was able to represent Syria’s interests in the talks. They hashed out a peace agreement in about six hours. Just six hours.
The Syrian Civil War started in 2011, thanks to then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and President Barack Obama. A conflict that lasted longer than World War II in a tiny country was resolved in about six hours, after President Donald Trump pulled the American troops out of the way.
Under the terms of the agreement, the Russians will patrol the northeastern Syrian border with Assad’s forces, to keep any more of Obama’s foreign ISIS fighters from coming in through Iraq. The Kurds who were allied with America can move further south into a safe zone inside Syria; if they behave themselves, Assad’s not going to bother them.
Syrian and Russian forces will jointly control the borders in the rest of the country, to keep Iranian separatists from sneaking into the country and stirring things up. All sides have agreed to keep the jerks from ISIS in cages.
Meanwhile, Assad has granted Turkey permission to push 30 miles over the Syrian-Turkish border to wipe out the last of a separate group of Kurds, who are communists allied with ISIS. Since they’re a threat to the security of Turkey, Assad and the Russians have agreed to let Erdogan come into Syria to genocide them to his heart’s content.
Again: The good Kurds get to move to a safe space; the bad Kurds get to face Erdogan’s forces until they surrender and knock it off, or they get genocid-ed, whichever comes first.
As a side note, don’t Erdogan and Assad know that controlling their own borders is racist? How are they supposed to achieve diversity if they control their borders and don’t let all those nice Muslims from Pakistan, Iran, South Africa and France move in?
There will still be some skirmishes in the months to come, but for all intents and purposes, President Donald Trump has ended the Syrian Civil War.
Before that simple six-hour meeting between countries that have actual national security interests in Syria took place, the House voted 354 to 60 to condemn President Trump. In a quote that didn’t age very well, Rep. Mike McCaul (R-TX), who authored the rebuke, stated, “The Kurds are being slaughtered as I speak in northern Syria.”
Let me just say on behalf of America: Mike McCaul is an A-hole, and possibly retarded.
137 House Republicans joined with Mike McCaul in betraying Donald Trump, based on a lie. The Kurds were not being slaughtered “as McCaul spoke.” The decision to pull US troops out of Syria was not a “bloodstain in the annals of US history,” as Utah Republican Senator Pierre Delecto declared.
Gun-grabbing fake Republican Congressman Dan Crenshaw of Texas declared that Trump’s “cowardly” decision to “abandon the Kurds” would lead to endless war in the region. “The isolationists need to make an argument as to why more war is better than preventing war. I’ll wait,” sniffed Crenshaw.
Uh… Trump pulled US troops out and now there’s less war, dip-Schiff. The presence of US troops was not preventing war in Syria – it was prolonging it, as proven by the simple six-hour meeting when Putin and Erdogan sat down and hashed things out.
Despite what all the “experts” told us, President Trump has now accomplished another historic victory: America has actually won a war for the first time since World War II.
